Borderline

I don't know how those damn popular guys just post a link to their newly made blog and BAM, 40+ new followers. Which I never had... The highest number of followers I ever got is 37 on Blogger. And for Tumblr, I think it's 444. Not to brag or whatever, but having 444 Tumblr followers is a small number. But I'm grateful even though I'm not Tumblr famous, Twitter famous, Blogger famous, or even famous in real life.

I just like being alone. It's not that I hate humans, it's just that... no, I hate humans what was I thinking. It irks me when I'm all cozy with a book and some punk just laugh like there's no tomorrow or do some screamo. Man, this is life not a rock concert you totally unswag person. That's why I like books. Books comfort me. They make me cry more than humans can. And when I finish a book, I will be all like "what am I ever gonna do with my life?".

I took a personality test and I was shown to have a borderline personality disorder. It means that I'm close to being a histrionic but I'm not. Histrionic people are typically people who can't live without attention. Borderlines, well they just don't want to be overshadowed and crave for approval, acknowledgement, something so they're not just one of the extras in a play. Borderlines are more likely to have suicidal thoughts because they think they're not perfect enough for everyone. Our moods also tend to fluctuate easily. That explains my random mood bursts.

All I want is to not be overshadowed. I want people to see me as who I am, not "That person's friend" or "The one who's always with that person". Hell fucking no. I want to be seen people, I want to be recognized. I want you to know me. 


Since no one's going to read this post, I'll just get off.